T-shirts are an underrated artistic expression

You could clothe your body with this shirt.

Last week, I signed up for my first stand-up comedy open mic. The only audience was the other comedians there, and laughter was sparse.

I think this was a result of some sense of competition, or a class-action attempt at maintaining 'coolness'. This singled me out, as when I go to stand-up comedy, I usually laugh to show support for the art and the performer, whether I actually find it worth a laugh or not. (Blair loves this). I mean, if someone is being racist or homophobic, I don't support those (unless they illicit genuine laughter...)

But after we signed the sheet, a guy started chatting me up, and the conversation quickly turned to "Indo-European" religious history (a subject he was seemingly well studied in, perfect for impressing an unsuspecting fellow). But I'm not an unsuspecting fellow, anymore.

The guy was being friendly enough, and motioned for us to share a table as the show began AND HE IMMEDIATELY BEGINS HECKLING THE HOST.

Y'all. If I had an effective tool withwhich to commit seppuku, I would have right the fuck there.

I get flirted with by straight men quite frequently-- especially at stand-up comedy events, "you're too handsome for stand-up" I've heard multiple times. This was going to be one of my jokes I wanted to try:

"...especially when I'm wearing politically neutral clothes, older conservative guys love me. But when they mention my body and ask, 'how do you stay in shape? MMmmMmmmmm, these shoulders'... (most times I'm the recipient of un-invited touching) BUT then, I finally get to share, and I get life from their reaction...

"Oh, I do yoga every day!" I reply enthusiastically.

And then I watch. This is an obvious turn in the conversation for them. Its like they're reckoning with themselves, wait, if we fuck... and he's gay... does that make me gay?

But since teetering on the razor's edge with this evenings closeted interloper, and he was willing to heckle the host, no telling what his limits are. I just tried to joke about how I was the only idiot laughing, that no one appreciated.

I just didn't feel comfortable telling my joke while it was actually happening. My co-worker said, "you can't be worried about offending people in a comedy club." His words might be true, but he's bigger than I am and so was this conspiracist I'd attracted, so I chose safety over humor, this time.

I left the stage immediately wanting another chance, so I think I'll try again. But in the meantime, I've also decided to express my humor through t-shirt. I've designed a couple of shirts just for myself, but they usually get enough positive attention that I've decided to come up with some designs to offer to the public for sale.

Hit up the link, buy a shirt or two!

https://t-shirts-against-insanity.printify.me/

You can buy this shirt, if you want.

Lemme know what your thoughts are, or if you have ideas that would work great on sweatshop cotton!